Here is a picture of a bike taken one afternoon. When I returned half an hour later the bike was gone. I will always wonder if the bike was stolen or reclaimed by its rightful owner.
Improved Bike Security - Once bitten twice shy
Diego cycles from Juárez Mexico up to the American border at El Paso. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The American guard stops him and says, 'What's in your saddle bags?'
'Flour,' answered Diego.
The guard says, 'We'll just see about that get off the bike.' The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but flour. He keeps Diego in the cells while the flour is analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but flour in the saddlebags.
The guard lets Diego, puts the flour into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, 'What have you got this time?'
'Flour as usual,' says Diego.
The guard does his thorough examination, he even photographs the evidence. However, once more discovers that the saddlebags contain nothing but flour. He gives the flour back to Diego, and lets him cross the border into the USA.
This sequence of events is repeated every week for two years. Finally, Diego doesn't show up one week and the guard happens to meet him in a cantina in Juárez Mexico.
'Hey, Buddy,' says the guard, 'I've caught 250 smugglers in the last 2 years and I have earned me good bounty money. But I cannot stop thinking about how you are smuggling stuff. It's all I think about, ..... I can't sleep and it's driving me mad. I'll give you $500 if you tell me what are you smuggling?'
Diego sips his Pacifico beer and says, '100 Bicycles.'
Brings tears to the cyclists' eyes
Next, we have the water hazard
Can you imagine what a cyclist says when they reach this sign (below) - Sidewalk Ends?
Then, just around the corner...
Cyclists dismount and use footpath - FOOTPATH CLOSED
Imagine little old grannies peddling their bikes up that path.
Jonathan points out that the sign with a white disc and a red border actually means that cycling is prohibited. But Jonathan also points out not many folks can cycle up, or even down, those stairs!
Learn to ride a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.
Is this the cycle of the devil, or just the devil to pedal?
A man who was riding a tandem was stopped by a police. 'What's the matter officer?' asked the rider.
'Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your tandem a mile back . . .'
'Good grief', said the rider - 'I thought I'd gone deaf!'
James steps off the curb and into the road without looking and promptly gets knocked down by a passing cyclist.
'You were really lucky there,' says Dave the cyclist.
'What on earth are you talking about. That really hurt!' exclaims James, angrily rubbing his head.
'Well, usually I drive a bus!' retorts Dave with a grin.
Tandem Heading in the Right Direction
A bicycle made for two Paul and Liz have just climbed Scafell Pike in the English Lake District, by road, on their tandem. 'Ooooooaaargh,' wheezed Paul, 'that was a tough ride. The climb was so very hard and we were going so slowly that I thought we were never going to make it to the top.' 'Yep,' agreed Liz breathing heavily, 'a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have slid all the way back down the hill.'
Unusual Wooden Tandem
Cheek Never Pays
Alan is in court and standing in front of the magistrates after trying argue his way out of his speeding ticket. The magistrates find him guilty, fine him £80 ($150USD) and give him a receipt.
Alan, a bit upset by losing the case, sarcastically asks, 'What am I supposed to do with this, frame it?'
'No,' replies the head magistrate, 'You keep it. Two more and you can get a bicycle.'